


for you, the finest cup

by orphan_account



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - High School, Cliche, Fluff, M/M, fast pacing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-25 13:36:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12532704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Kenny's been a regular at Tweek Bros Coffeehouse, mainly due to the fact they now sold free coffee blends and snacks. After a few visits, he realises how familiar "Tweek Tweak" looks. Right, they go to the same school.He eventually introduces him to his little friend group. In the process, Kenny notices his interest towards a certain deadpan robot.





	1. weird yet enticing

**Author's Note:**

> fbw got me fucking whippedt, here's never enough creek, is there? huge clap to trey and matt! i wanted to post a quick one-shot for creek day but I guess this'll have another chapter.
> 
> extreme apologies if the characters seem way too out of character, but, this is how I'd write them.
> 
> (was too lazy to proof-read this so sorry if there were any mistakes)

_"I am mastering the ways of a true barista..."_

_"Kenny please... my Dad's gonna kick you out."_

 

Luckily none of the customers had noticed the orange hooded (his dear friends had given him a new one to grow in to, he's never giving up that signature parka of his) boy juggling the empty coffee cups, dangerously near the coffee machine. Tweek's teeth chattered anxiously, doing his best to convince Kenny to stop. Luckily for him, he did. Kenny grinned, neatly stacking them onto the counter, turning towards a now relieved Tweek.

 

"Christ man, don't do that again..." His voice hoarse, sounding rough and exhausted. Kenny's smile warped into a frown, eyes narrowing slightly in observation. He could instantly tell that the tired boy hadn't been sleeping too well, furthermore, he looked rather skinnier than usual.  

 

"You haven't been eating well, have you?" An obvious hint of disappointment in his tone, no matter how sleepy Tweek was, it didn't go unnoticed. He attempted to sound well, although he knew better than to doubt Kenny's sharp senses, "N-Neither have you!"

 

Kenny snickered at his desperate response, deciding to brush it off, he did have a point. "I guess you got a point there."

 

Half an hour passed and Tweek's shift was over at last. And that's when an elephant made an appearance. "Aye! Kenneth!"Tweek jolted, Kenny smiled. Both whipped their heads around towards the door. So did the customers.

 

He figured the holler came from the brunet in a red and white sports jacket, grinning ear to ear.

 

"That's Dick God to you, King Taco!" The dirty blond shouted back his ridiculous response. Tweek was heavily confused at the nickname that he was supposedly given. Wait, did he just say King Taco? Tweek had also noticed two others beside the brunet, both of them visibly cringing. One of them had a distinguishable blue and red puffball hat, the other wearing an oversized purple sweater. Which reminded him of Kenny's jacket.

 

They made their way across the room, customers averting their gaze, stopping in front of the counter where they were greeted by Kenny. Tweek just stood back, more specifically behind Kenny, hiding in a way. He wasn't scared, just weirded out. But then again, his only friend was Kenny.

 

_"Oh come on, Moneybags, you know you love me."_

_"I tolerate you."_

 

He figured it was his 'squad' that he always used to talk about, over-hearing the mention of the name 'Craig', someone Kenny brought up and talked a lot about in their conversations. Tweek looked down at his messy uniform, quickly reaching down in an attempt to properly button it up, he didn't want to look  _completely_ disorganised. Tweek looked up, catching the gaze of 'King Taco' before going back to fumbling with his buttons.

 

It was no use. "That's Tweek?" He flinched at the sudden mention of his name, gaze slowly looking back up to meet Kenny's reassuring one. Okay, he trusted Kenny, these were his friends anyway. They couldn't be that strange. 

 

__________

 

On second thought, never-mind. At least 'Mom' and 'Raven' were somewhat normal.

 

They had all settled down on a table, Tweek served them their free cups, and a refill for Kenny, before sliding a chair and slowly sitting down himself. Kenny had roughly given them an introduction to Tweek, in which they replied with nods and greetings. Apparently he matched the descriptions in their heads word for word... how much had Kenny talked to them about him?

 

"Just a little input, these aren't our actual names, you probably figured." King Taco started the conversation. "I'm Clyde!" 

Proceeded by coughing, "He meant to say huge bag of douche."

"Fuck off..."

"My name's Token." He introduced himself with a smile to which Tweek rapidly nodded in response. "And this is Stan, not Raven, it was some phase he had back in fourth grade. Don't mind him, he's a little down because his boyfriend ditched him-" Stan let out a deep sigh, "Kyle's not my boyfriend. And no, he didn't ditch me, he just had an urgent school assignment he had to get done." Tweek knows Kyle, well, at least from a distance. They weren't exactly seated anywhere near each other in the one lesson they shared. Kenny explained that their little friend circle all had nicknames, some of them being more... ridiculous than most. He had yet to meet Lord Fatass. 

 

"Twitch. It's that simple, done." Clyde established his new nickname. Well, he couldn't deny the accuracy of it. He wasn't offended, he was used to being called similar names and at this point he accepted it. Proudly. Yeah, Twitch. He liked it. 

 

He cracked a smile as they shrugged and agreed on him joining as Twitch. "I think he'd mellow out with Robot." Stan remarked, smirking. Tweek blinked twice, head full of questions, the main one being who the fuck Robot was. "Craig?" Token muttered, "I guess." Oh... they were talking about 'Craig' again. Now that he thought about it, he heard many things about this Craig. Rumours about how he once had a three hour counselling session with Mr. Mackey due to flipping off the Principal multiple times, non-stop. Furthermore, that he was a  _'_ _huge bully'._

 

"Ah, Craig Tucker. I've been trying to score with him since last year. " Kenny chuckled. "You'd probably have a better chance Tweek-" He then cut himself off. His smile turning into a rather sinister looking grin. Tweek was worried. This was the face that Kenny plastered whenever he was thinking of executing a wild scheme. He mentally prepared himself for what Kenny was going to say next.

 

"Mm... Tweek, you wanna eat with us during lunch from now on?"

"S-Sure, yeah, that's alright with me." 

 

Kenny then stood up from his seat, a smug look evident on his face. "I'm sure you'll get on with everyone else just fine."

 

__________

 

"B-But what if they think I'm strange? Will they punch me all the way to to Antarctica?" 

"Tweek-" 

"Jesus Christ man, please don't tell me they'll punch m-"

 

Kenny sturdily latched his hands onto Tweek's shoulders, gripping them tightly, yet not enough to actually hurt. He could feel him quivering under his touch but was glad to see that he'd stopped clawing at his light blond locks. This definitely wasn't the first time this happened. Tweek wasn't exactly as anxious as he was when he was younger, thanks to Kenny. However, paranoia isn't something that he can easily get rid of.

 

"You're strange, I'm strange, they're strange. As cliché as that sounds, it's true." Kenny gave him a long reassuring stare as he released his grip and zipped up his parka before turning around, glancing behind his shoulder to check that Tweek was still following him through the cafeteria door. And sure enough, he reluctantly was. He understands how worrisome one can get if they were just about to be introduced to quite a few new faces, he'll surely guide him through it. "Promise me you won't dash out?" The response he got was a hesitant nod. Good enough.

 

Kenny smirked to himself as they made their way towards the table, mumbling to himself,  _"It's South Park, everyone's fucked up in a way."_

 

He then suddenly paused, Tweek almost bumping into him from behind. "By the way, you'll easily notice Craig. Tall, very tall, blue hat. Dark hair, that bad boy look, he's just so damn sexy. Got it?" Kenny licked his lips subconsciously as the confused boy slowly nodded at his description before they continued walking and arrived at the crowded table.

 

He slammed his palms down onto the table, making a few spoons vibrate, startling them. A loud groan could be heard from Clyde, he almost choked on his apple juice. Tweek held in a giggle, gulping as multiple pairs of eyes landed on him and Kenny... oh boy.

 

"Oh look guys, Dicklord is here." Tweek squinted an eye at the nasty vibe that radiated from the voice.

 

Kenny rolled his eyes, "Shut up Lord Fatass, it's not Dicklord, It's Dick God. Anyways-"

"There's no fucking difference, stop calling me that! We fucking established this already."

"I'm a God because I'm  _holy_ , the holy Dick God, not Dicklord."

"Either way you're a fucking dick!"

"For fuck sake, if I hear the word dick again..."

"Huh? Huh? Whatchu gonna do Kaaaahl?"

Clyde tutted. "No, no, no, you mean Broflover boy"

"I wanna be called Red Elf, I already said this..."

"Fuck no! That's worse than Douchebag!"

"Seriously? Douchebag was definitely  _the_ worst nickname."

 

 _"Holy shit guys, just let Kenny talk."_   Token managed to put a hold on the bickering, losing his patience. Kenny thanked him, clearing his throat, getting ready to introduce his friend. He looked over at Tweek, giving a little smile in a way to apology for the terrible first impression he was probably given. Thanks Lord Fatass. Kenny then switched his gaze back to the table. "As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted..."

 

"Tweek here is a good friend of mine, he'll be in our little orgy, 'kay?" Many face-palmed, many shook their head in disgust, not at Tweek though of course. "He'll be called Twitch. If that's okay with you?" Tweek, or should he say 'Twitch', nodded. 

 

Clyde interrupted, "I came up with it by the way."

"Clyde came up with it."

"...Are we supposed to care?" 

 

"Shut up Craig." Craig? Where? The jittery boy then lead the deep nasal remark to its owner, taking in his appearance... oh  _wow._  Crap- he shook his head, dismissing any thoughts of Craig being unexpectedly attractive. Not in the pretty boy way like Kenny, but rather... ah, he should really stop. It's not the time to be thinking about how mildly- okay, extremely, handsome. Fuck. Shit. No. No, Tweek, no...

 

But damn the sass like,  _damn boy._

 

It was their turn to introduce themselves. It took quite a while due to the occasional interruptions from Lord Fatass. Or, as he learnt, Eric. But they all called him Cartman, he might as well do the same to avoid getting in trouble with him. Tweek already disliked the fella. Oh yeah, he now completely understood why Craig was called Robot. Whenever everyone else laughed, he'd either stay completely quiet or laugh along... somehow sounding nonchalant at the same time. Kyle was of course, Broflover boy, play on words with his surname.

 

Kind of cool, and he figured why he was called 'Lover boy'. Not because he had a girl but because of the rumour that Stan and Kyle apparently had sex. Friends with benefits? Most likely spread around daily by Cartman. He took a mental note in his head. 

 

Kenny was the infamous Dick God, Kyle was the rumoured Broflover boy, Stan was the regretful Raven and Cartman was none other than Lord Fatass. Tweek, himself, was now Twitch. Pretty easy to remember, he definitely wouldn't need to repeat that. Clyde was the snobby, loud King Taco, Token was pretty much the rich 'mom' of the group (quoted from Clyde), and Craig was motherfucking Robot. The creativity was simply amazing, sarcasm intended, and actually fitting. He certainly wouldn't argue with that.

 

There was now an even number, exactly eight. He can do this, he'll get used to them all. Hopefully. 

 

__________ 

"So... d'ya like him? Think he's hot?" 

 

"Fucking Christ!" Tweek panted before turning his head to Kenny who had whispered into his ear out of nowhere. Well, they were technically sitting right beside each other - Tweek being sandwiched between Kenny and Stan. Who by the way was having a staring contest with Kyle, probably eye-fucking each other. Opposite of him was Craig who was practically half asleep, pretending to listen to Clyde's nonsense. 

 

Tweek gulped before replying to the dirty blond, "Uh... I-I dunno." Of  _course_ he thought Craig was hot. I mean, just fucking look at him.  

 

"I can tell that you have a little crush, right? Don't lie, I'm a genius." Kenny was a genius. Tweek was terrible at lying in the first place, it honestly can't be anymore obvious that he did fall a little too quick for Craig, he just felt... attracted. Not in love though, just a tiny crush that he'd probably brush off in a few days anyway. "F-Fine, yeah, so what?" He challenged, wary of his stuttering.

 

"I was just thinking you'd have more of a chance with getting into his pants, y'know, hehe..." Tweek did  _not_ appreciate that last remark, although grateful, and that evil giggle. "Man, would I love to get some of that, I guess I'm not his type. He's picky, but you're cute as fuck. Get what I mean? Opposites attract, eh?" Tweek saw this coming. Not entirely but knowing Kenny. he'd bring something like this up. 

 

He sighed before whispering back, "Let's talk about this later. S-Somewhere else to be exact." He was  _not_ about to continue and have a full on conversation about 'getting laid'. That's what Kenny meant right? For them to be fuck-buddies? Kenny had loads of those so he guessed so. It's not as if anyone would like Tweek that much, maybe his body but not the rest of him. He was a damn  _'spaz'_   for crying out loud. Not once has anyone confessed to him with their heart. He didn't mind who they were, he especially didn't mind if it was this Craig guy.  

 

"As long as you understand what I'm gettin' at."

 

Kenny grinned one last time at him before focusing on his food, which was exactly two peas on a plate. "Wh-..." He glanced around the table, noticing Craig's sly smirk. "You little shit, those were  _my_ peas!" He exclaimed, over the top pissed. But then again, Kenny was poor. He was the poorest kid in the group. Some people who aren't as close as Tweek, Stan and Kyle are to him seem to forget that although he literally eats pop-tarts for dinner, he has one of the most kindest of hearts. Tweek didn't find it cheesy at all by the way. He liked Kenny's character, he had sharp analytical eyes that could pinpoint on anyone's emotions and act as a professional therapist. 

 

But yeah, he was pretty fucking broke. He deserves all the food in the world, the scrawny bastard of a friend, Tweek thought.

 

"I'll feed them to Stripe #9... maybe I'll give them back to you then." Craig sneered, pulling the plate away from the table as Kenny tried to reach.

 

_"Fucking stop dude, that's Kenny's, he paid for it!"_

 

All eyes were now on Tweek. Every single pair. Including Craig's. Shit. Kenny turned back to Tweek, mouth slightly open in shock, before smiling then looking back to Craig who didn't look dumb-founded compared to the rest of the table. "Twitch just spoke against Robot!" Clyde was first to break the silence. Cartman followed after, "What're you gonna do now, Craig  _F_ ucker?"

 

Tweek was pretty much cowering at the amount of attention he had just gotten, it was way too much pressure, as he liked to quote himself. There goes any 'chances' with Craig, all gone down the drain. He probably hates him now, he braced himself for whatever punches or kicks he'd receive. However... Craig didn't look pissed. He didn't look pissed, his face wasn't expressing anger or hatred of any sort. At all.

 

That's... strange?

 

They made brief eye-contact, both dark toned swirls in their coloured orbs locking. His eyes read some sort of an acceptance. Some sort of expression that Tweek read as  _'alright big guy, I guess you ain't that small, I'll back off for now'_.

 

Tweek had shown dominance in this situation, he had shown his bravery. Both of them knew. Both of them were impressed. Kenny patted him lightly on the back, proud. Craig simply shrugged, lazy. Everyone continued eating. 


	2. plan of love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny's plan initiates against Craig's will. Craig is tired. Tweek is confused.
> 
> But everything works out in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've worked extra hard here meanwhile trying to maintain 'quality over quantity' or at least 'quality equal to quantity'
> 
> and yes, this is now considered the 2nd chapter, i merged the original 2nd one with the 1st. idk why, i just felt a little bothered for some reason + changed the title thank you very very very very much for reading!
> 
> (haven't proof read this still)

**_00:55 | ???_ **

_heeeey cutie_

 

_**00:57 | ???** _

_heeey_

 

_**00:59 | ???** _

_heey_

 

_**00:59 | ???** _

_hey_

 

_**00:59 | ???** _

_heeeeeeeeeeyyyyy don't leave me hanging_

 

_**01:00 | ???** _

_heeeeeyy_

__________

 

Craig had originally been planning an all-nighter but his body rejected the idea, having fallen asleep at one. Eh, at least it wasn't at midnight, that would've been too weak of him. On the plus side, he may have another shot at continuing it. He can thank whoever the fuck had triggered the ting notification sound from his phone. But at the same time, he'd rather flip the fucker off if he could, damn texting him at - two in the morning? He figured Clyde, because it's his sole purpose in life to irritate the crap out of him.

 

Oh, on second thought, never mind. His screen didn't read king shithead.

 

_**02:16 | ???** _

_heeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyy ur online!_

 

 

_**02:18 | craig** _

_how'd u get my number_

_ur just spamming me to advertise some lame product right_

_blocked_

 

**_02:18 | ???_ **

_nonononono!!!_

 

_**02:18 | craig** _

_tell me who u are, what the fuck do u want_

 

**_02:18 | ???_ **

_sorry,_

_you're gonna have to guess_

 

_**02:19 | ???** _

_hehe_

 

**_02:19 | craig_ **

_kenny, what the fuck do you want_

 

_**02:20 | kenny mcfuckface** _

_shit_

 

And that's when Uncle Fucker blared through the speakers of his phone, a truly iconic tune from Fourth Grade. However, Craig would always cringe at the thought of those times, he really needed to change his ring tone. He let out an irritated sigh, Incoming Call from kenny mcfuckface. Oh, Kenny's profile picture was of himself and that twitchy kid. Close as fuck friends, he guessed.

 

Kenny never bothered to change his picture nowadays, it was always some lewd image from a random porno. Tweek or some shit, he couldn't care less about his name, he was more interested in the way he looked, moved, sounded like and acted. Okay, maybe he did have to care.

 

"The fuck do you want, McCormick?" Sleepiness lingered in his grouchy nasal tone, sighing again at the sound of a giggle coming from the other end of the line, not something he wanted to hear at two in the morning. Why hadn't he hung up yet...? He didn't want to talk to Kenny.

 

Kenny continued obnoxiously laughing, "You picked up. You never used to pick up my calls with my old phone. You picked up because you're thinkin' about Tweek, right?" ...Boy, did he really hate Kenny. Shit. The fucker's too perceptive for his own good. Craig sat in silence, weary eyes glaring at the phone. He couldn't hang up for some odd reason, fuck it. He blames nothing but his curiosity. Nothing.

 

"And what if I was?" This is just becoming a question game. This was going nowhere.

A pause... then, "SaywhatifyouhaveacrushonTweek."

 

"What?" The fuck did he just- ah... damn, he fell right into that. He desperately told himself it wasn't because he was easy to trick but it was due to the fact his mind was still slurred with sleep. His eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose, suddenly feeling ten times more exhausted.

 

Craig could hear Kenny absolutely gasping for air as he cackled to his dismay. What God up there gave Craig the connection and free interaction with Kenny McCormick, let alone give him the knowledge about his existence? There was in fact no God up there that even has the power to stop Kenny from being the bastard that he was. To everybody's, not only Craig's, dismay.

 

"I'm outside your door, ah, that was price-"

"Why? Go away."

"If you let me in, I won't tell Tweek about what just happened." Kenny playfully whispered, hanging up.

 

Craig cursed a couple thousand times in his head before kicking off the covers and sliding off his bed. He peered through his bedroom window, looking down towards the front porch, capturing the sight of the bright orange hood that stood out in the darkness of the night. "Fine, you win this time, McCormick." He mumbled before dragging himself out the room and down the carpeted stairs.

 

Craig wouldn't be caught dead by his parents for letting him in here and waking them up in the process. And so, as quietly as possible, he slowly gripped the door knob, twisted it and pushed the door outwards. There stood a smiling Kenny.

 

He insisted he leave his ridiculously over-sized parka on the slightly broken coat-hanger, thanks a lot Clyde, but he was given a no in response. Whatever then, he could burn in that parka for all he cared. "Don't make me regret this." Was all he muttered before they carefully treaded up the stair-case and into his bedroom, locking the door behind him in the process.

 

Craig flopped onto the sheets, adjusting his position and laying back, arms crossed behind his head and resting on the pillows. Meanwhile Kenny just leaned back against the door, hands still stuffed into his pockets. "Talk."

 

"Tweek's a lonely kid, never dated anyone before, needs friends. Never dated anyone before, he works at Tweek Bros Coffee by the way. Oh, did I mention he's never dated anyone before?" Kenny had the most shit-eating grin plastered across his face, leaving Craig groaning at the repetitive mention of that one single fact. "He's single, and a virgin-"

 

"You're saying you want us to hook up?" He got the message loud and clear.

"Hah, well, that's not exactly what I'm trying to say but yes. That's exactly what I'm trying to say."

 

Craig flipped him off.

Craig knew this was coming, he rolled his eyes, "The closest we'll ever be are friends. Now get out."

Kenny wasn't having it, "But you can mellow him out. Rub off some of your 'don't give a fuck' attitude on him. C'mon."

Neither was Craig. "Dude, it's not happening." However, Kenny didn't move an inch.

 

"Tweek needs you, man, I don't think there's anyone else who's as 'chill' as you. Don't you see how perfect and how complete you'd be with each other? He needs someone free of stress to be around. He's missing out on how much a girlfriend, in fact, a boyfriend could make him happier. He's sad, Craig, and full of anxiety. Consider this, please." This is the first time he's ever heard Kenny sound so heavily sincere and serious.

 

"...Whatever, I'll talk to him. I can't guarantee we'll hook up, because that isn't how it works. This isn't some fictional bullshit, alright?"

 

He couldn't believe Kenny was actually making him do this. The fuck was he thinking? Part of him didn't want to do this, he hated socialising. But on the other hand, he was more or less really interested in Tweek. Most people would probably think he's out of his mind for thinking this. He couldn't explain it, there's just something so intriguing about him, the way he stood up for Kenny back then. Craig thinks he's gone crazy.

 

"Great, oh and, thanks for letting me in. I'm not leaving." Kenny walked over near the bed, sinking down to the floor, laying down on the carpet. "I won't do anything to you whilst you sleep, as tempting as it is, I'll let your first time be with Tweek."

 

"...You're assuming I'm a virgin too?"

"Mhm, Mr. Cold-hearted 'I don't need a relationship'."

 

And that was when the realisation sunk in, Craig had just been manipulated by Kenny, disguised by 'I wanna talk' just so he could crash. The cunning bastard. Craig slipped into the covers, checking the time. Half past two, great. His sleeping schedule was fucked thanks to Kenny. Too sleepy to retaliate, he just rested his head comfortably onto the pillows, he'd kick him out in the morning anyway. Actually...

 

"When I wake up, you better still not be here."

 

Silence rested... until Kenny spoke up.

 

"...My head hurts, could you spare a-" Proceeded by a pillow-smack in the face.

 

__________

 

Tweek shut the door of his locker a little too forcefully, startling himself in the process, earning a few snickers and snorts from those around him. He hasn’t  had a single cup of coffee all day, Kenny had convinced him not to. Tweek was craving for it right now, even a single drop would suffice. Actually, scratch that, he needed to get home right now and gulp a few gallons or two. Ten cups at least.

 

And that's when something, more like someone, unexpectedly interrupted his train of thought. None other than Craig mother-fucking Tucker. Standing right there, in the flesh, directly in front of him. Damn, he didn't remember Craig being so tall. He was guessing it either ran in the family, but mainly questioned what the fuck his parents had been feeding him.

 

He then looked down to see that he was softly gripping onto a small steamy cup of, you guessed it, coffee. The beverage he needed more than anything right now. Tweek's fingers twitched as he shuffled his feet. Images of himself downing the cup in one gulp already flooding his head. This was practically more than anything he could have asked for, Craig Tucker giving him coffee. Or so he assumed it was for him anyway.

 

Lucky enough for him, it was. "For you, Tweek. That's your name, right? Urgh, this is so dumb... take it." Craig stretched out his arm, a few drops slipping down the rim of the cup before Tweek hesitantly grasped onto it, hands shaking. Tweek was more than baffled, how did Crag know how much he needed this? He took a sip on the spot, not wanting to seem rude by piggishly slurping it. Tweek especially didn't want to embarrass himself around Craig, having established his tiny - perhaps more than tiny - crush on the stoic boy.

 

He could see Craig physically cringing at himself, not at Tweek, but at what he had just said. Yep, he was definitely baffled.

 

"Th-Th-Th-...Thank... Th-Thank..." God he sounded like Jimmy now, no offence Jimmy. He mentally slapped himself. Come on Tweek, he's right there, expecting you to say something! Don't just freeze up like an idiot...! "Tha-aah- Thanks, thank you." He sighed in relief, finally.

 

Craig had his hands retreated into his pockets, trying his best to keep up his 'chill dude' act, meanwhile panicking on the inside. What the absolute fuck was going through Kenny's head to make him think this was a good idea. He probably looked like a complete creep, suddenly appearing after final period to give him coffee out of nowhere. Well, at least he took it instead of rejecting it.

 

That's step one of Dick God Kenny's plan complete. Now... what was next? Ah, right, "Tweek?" Craig was trying his best to make his nasally tone sound sweeter to express his interest in the boy.

 

He was given an immediate response, "Wh- yeah?"

 

"You don't have to, but... do you wanna-"

 

"What's up Craig!" For fuck sake.

 

Said boy quickly turned around to where the voice came from, that voice belonging to Clyde's to be exact. He let out a deep, annoyed as fuck, sigh. Beside Clyde was Token who was waving, hiding the fact he was dying inside due to Clyde's outburst. Craig gave them a glare that was clear enough for even Clyde to read, they took the hint and nodded rapidly before fleeing. _Well... that just happened,_ Craig thought before turning back around to face a confused Tweek

 

He better make this quick before anymore interruptions occurred.

 

"Sorry about them..."

"N-No problem, really."

He cleared his throat, "Anyway... do you wanna-"

 

"Shut the FUCK up fatass!"

He thought too soon.

 

They both switched their gazes to an incoming fuming red-head pinning a certain 'fatass' to the locker beside Tweek's. Absolutely great. The World hated Craig. God hated Craig. They both slowly backed away as Kyle raised a fist to Cartman, emerald eyes blazing.

 

"Get the fuck off of me Kahl! Or should I say, Jew!"

 

Death bells were literally ringing for Cartman. But before Kyle's fist came in contact with his face, his loveable super best friend Stan appeared to save Cartman's fat ass. Lucky for him, Craig thought whilst cursing all three of them inside his tired head.

 

"It's okay, Kyle, you don't gotta beat the shit out of him!"

"Seriously Stan? He-"

"I know, I know..." Stan cooed.

 

Kyle lowered his fist, releasing the death grip he had on Cartman's collar. Kyle turned to Stan, his expression morphing from pissed to calm and loving in a single second at Stan's soothing tone. If that wasn't one of the most gayest shit Craig has ever seen, he didn't know what being gay was anymore. Hah, yeah right, he was gay as fuck at this moment in time. Then, Cartman finally stomped off without a word, Stan and Kyle exiting the hallway, leaving the two alone at last. It was about fucking time.

 

"As I was saying, before I was interrupted yet again..." Craig paused for a moment, Tweek stayed quiet.

"..would you maybe wanna go out-"

 

"Craig Tucker, please report to Mr. Mackey's office mmkay?" Rang through the intercom. Oh come on, school had just ended, what the fuck did he do this time? Craig hopelessly looked at the other boy, apologising. "I gotta go..."

 

Tweek's face read disappointment, he simply sadly nodded, wishing Mr. Mackey wasn't such an asshole.

 

Craig turned to leave, hiding the face of shame, how fucking hard was it for him to just ask him out? Hell, he wasn't the only one who he blamed. He blamed Mr. Mackey especially, him and his stupid intercom speaker. He'll be sure to double flip him off once he arrived in his office.

 

It's what he deserves.

 

"C-Craig..." Tweek's shaky voice reached his ears, causing him to stop in his tracks. He looked over his shoulder at the quivering boy, he was shaking like a leaf at this point. What? Did he accidentally dropped something? Did he want to tell him how much of a pussy he was?

 

"You're a pussy, Craig." Yeah, he guessed right. "Go out... G-Go out... with you? Sa-Saturday?" Jackpot. "I'll leave my number in your locker."

 

Fucking score, that's right, to all the people out there who said he couldn't get a girl- boyfriend - they've just been proven wrong! Wait, they weren't officially boyfriends just yet, they were just going out on a simple date. Just a date. A date where Craig will then proceed to ask him to be his- slow down, Tucker, slow down. Tweek had accepted his proposal and right now, he felt way to giddy right now. Stop Craig, stop. What the hell was this feeling? Whatever, he was currently the most happiest boy in the world.

 

"S-Saturday it is." The fuck? Did he just stutter? He felt Tweek's gaze on him. Then suddenly, approaching footsteps. And at least, a back-hug. The warmest hug he'd ever felt. For Craig, right now, life was good. And it was about to get better.

 

_"WOO! I'M SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU TWEEK, CRAIG! REMEMBER TO USE LUBE, OKAY?"_

 

A sudden roar from Kenny at the end of the hallway.

 

"Go kill yourself, McCormick."


End file.
